What does it mean to have hope? According to the dictionary, hope is an expectation or a desire.
Merriam-Webster’s definition makes “hope” seem close to “wish”: “to cherish a desire with anticipation: to want something to happen or be true.” Whatever the details, hope in general means a desire for things to change for the better, and to want that better situation very much.
Hope is seeing a flower push through a crack in the pavement – against all odds, it’s going to grow where it wants.
To live without hope is to give up, to relinquish our dreams, to die. Without hope, we have nothing. With hope, life is possible. With hope, we endure our heartaches, our hardships, our pain. We fight. It’s absolutely amazing what a little hope can do. Although it’s invisible, it’s beautiful. We can feel it – pulsating within us.
I am Catholic, born and raised. I believe in the trinity. No, I cannot explain it, but I do believe. In my faith, my burdens are my cross. Just like Jesus had to carry His cross, I must carry mine. Sometimes my cross is to heavy. I want to skip out. I want to give up. This is where Hope comes in.
Trying to Find Homes for my Pets
I am homeless. For whatever reason, Jesus wanted me here. I could have lived in a house with my father and brother, down the street from the beach – if it weren’t for my pets. Twenty-two months ago, I made up a flyer to try to find homes for my pets. I prayed to God, letting Him know that if He wanted me to pursue this – He would help me. I could only find a home for my youngest dog. God wanted me for a different mission.
I don’t know what my mission is – I may never know. But I do know we need to help out our brothers and sisters. I know I can offer hope to others, and in turn, hope is granted to me. I may not have much, but I can give some money here and there. If I see someone in dire straits who is asking for money for food – by golly, I’m going to give them some cash. I’m going to buy them a hot coffee on a cold morning. If I see someone digging in the garbage for something to eat, I’m going to march into the 7-eleven and buy them a hot pizza!
But we all have to do our part to bring hope to a stranger, or to a familiar face who’s name we don’t know, or to a friend, or family member… if we all do our part, we can get closer to humanity, to paying it forward. Isn’t that what hope is all about?
When I first became homeless, I really wanted to find a job, then find a place to call home, and start working back to the way it was before the fire destroyed my home, my livelihood. But I couldn’t find a job because apparently nobody wants to hire someone who cannot walk well. Then I thought if I got on SSDI, and was able to have my surgery, I’d be able to proceed as planned, but getting SSDI is not a walk in the park either. Too many people take advantage of the system. So, I gave up. Fast forward to almost two years, and I finally met my new primary doctor. She said Medi-Cal would pay for my surgeries. Oh my gosh, I’m elated!
So, I’m back to having hope – I’m back to eating healthy, working on my leg exercises, cutting back on the tobacco and doing my part to get the partial knee replacement on my left and total knee replacement on my right AND then I can join the work force and get out from being homeless. That is my hope, my desire, my want.