There’s a saying that when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me. This is true. So, why do people assume stuff about other people?

I have this neighbor, who lives on the floor beneath me. She always assumes things about me, but she knows nothing about me at all. Maybe she thinks she knows more because she’s older? I’m unsure. I am not going to assume why she thinks what she thinks because I’ve no clue.

The Cold

I may not have lived in the snow country before now, but I used to go skiing regularly. I’m not a fan of really hot weather, and I’m definitely not a fan of ice cold weather. But I do know what it’s like to be cold. I used to live in the mountains. It would get to about 38-40 degrees in my house. I had no heat for about eight years. There was one week where I had to sponge bathe and wash my hair in the ice cold water because the water heater broke and my landlord wasn’t fixing it. So, yes, I may not know what -7 degrees Fahrenheit feels like, but to be able to go into your heated home after walking around in the snow is a lot different than living in cold and going home to cold.


I’ve been through quite a lot in my 53 years of living. I survived living with a boyfriend who physically abused me on a day to day basis. I’ve survived being raped at knifepoint by a total stranger who kidnapped me. I survived living in cold weather, in a house with no heat. I survived watching my Mom die of cancer. I survived having my home and business destroyed in a forest fire, and living homeless in a vehicle for two years with my dogs and cat. I have also survived living on $5000/year, which is far below the poverty line in the bay area, California. I’m still surviving with bipolar disorder.

So, yes. I know how to survive in the worst case scenarios. But she doesn’t know any of this because she assumes she knows me. Ha!


A few days ago, she gave me a “gift.” She brought me a few trinkets, thinking I could use them for the jewelry I create. But again, she doesn’t know what I make as she has never asked. Her gift came with her letting me know that she would like a necklace in return for this “gift.” Her trinkets were plastic “stones.” I have more than enough jewelry supplies – precious metals, gemstones, and top of the line Swarovski crystals. I did not need her cheap gift. I did not ask for it, especially with her request that I create a necklace for her for free.

Breaking the Rules

Our apartment building we live in is a no smoking environment. It’s also forbidden to use an open flame in our apartments. But she smokes in her apartment. She has told me this, and I can smell it from her window when I walk my dogs outside. From my perspective of having lost everything including a cat (the one cat I couldn’t evacuate with) from a fire, it upsets me that she doesn’t think about anyone except for herself.

Tall Tales

She’s also a fabulous storyteller. She talks about stuff that I have checked out and have found are based on lies. Like a house she said she used to live in with ten rooms, five bathrooms, and three bowling lanes. It turns out that this house has never been lived in. Hmm.

Or she tells me how a package of mine was delivered to her apartment, but when I check on Amazon, I can clearly see that the package was delivered to the mailroom. Hmm.


I really abhor people who lie. One cannot trust someone who’s a liar. To tell a little white lie to not hurt someone is different than telling a straight out lie. Why lie? It’ll just get you in trouble when their facts don’t hold up, or you find out that the stories are not truthful. How will someone know when you’re telling the truth if you continually deceit them?

What To Do?

I just go about my way, and I don’t really interact with her if I can help it. But she just shows up at my place, knocks on my door, and then she’s always trying to look inside my apartment. Now, I just go out of my apartment and shut the door. This way she can’t peek. I don’t have anything to hide, but she’s not welcome.

What would you do?