Ty and me, 2004-2005

How I Met Tyler

I met Ty in an MSN chat room in 2002 or 2003. This chat room was full of people with different handles, and the people who checked in nightly became the regulars. We knew who we and everyone else were.

Tyler and I chatted online and on the phone for months before we ever met in person. When we finally met, we met outside a crowded movie theater for safety precautions. Then we saw the movie and talked some more.

I felt so comfortable with him. We continued to see each other and then became a couple.

Sweet Nothings

I remember when we went to Chili’s restaurant in Capitola, and we were waiting for our table. He was sitting next to me on the bench and start whispering, “Sweet, sweet sweet” into my ear. I asked him what he was doing, and then he continued whispering, “nothing, nothing, nothing.” He told me he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear. 😂

Bouquets of Flowers 💐

Tyler didn’t drive. He was scared of driving. So when I went over to his house, he would skip out to greet me, and he always had a bouquet of flowers with him. Granted they were picked flowers, but flowers are flowers.

Beach, Crabs 🦀 and Chanti 🍷

Ty and I would often go to the beach at the end of the street from where my parents live/d. There are tide pools. We would walk my dogs and then we would feed the crabs in the tide pools by breaking open mussels and allowing the juice to drip into the pools. So many crabs would come out of their hiding spots and then we would catch them. But the crabs were always put back in and were fed the meat from the mussels.

One time, we went to a different beach and I brought some Chanti wine and some asiago cheese with us. We played with the dogs in the ocean and then kicked back with mugs of wine and had a little picnic. Fun times.

Another time at the beach, we noticed all of these tiny blue jellyfish lined up on the shoreline. We picked them up and had a jellyfish war. Throwing these at each other, laughing. We had so much fun that day.

Tony Hawk on Play Station

Ty was a skateboarder. The skateboard 🛹 was his transportation. I remember, all of the times, when we were in his room, playing Tony Hawk on his play station. He would ask me what I wanted to do, and I’d always say, “Tony Hawk.” He would roll his eyes and say, “Again?” It was a rush.

My Hangover

My first and greatest hangover was when my best friend and I held a party at the beach. I hadn’t eaten anything that day. I was making sure all of our guests were having fun. It was around dusk when I met Ty’s step brother. He introduced himself to me, and I introduced myself as sober. He pulled out a bottle of Southern Comfort. I took one swig and then I don’t really remember much of anything. I remember my friends propping me up and making me eat what I thought was a bag of bagels. It turns out, it wasn’t even a half of a bagel! The next thing I remember is Ty was on the couch with me, in my house. He was forcing me to stay awake when all I wanted to do was go to sleep. He wanted me to eat, Funyons. Yuck!


Ty passed away from cirrhosis at the age of 43. He leaves behind his beautiful wife and their four kids, two of them, his flesh and blood.

I will always remember the great times we had together. Ty is hopefully with his Mom now. She took her own life before Ty was a teen, and he never got over her death. He started drinking to cope with his PTSD. He was after all, the one who found her.

Rest in peace Ty. I love you.